Is King Charles Really a Vampire?

**Discussion begins at 17:30**

Today, Kait is taking us on a deep dive into the conspiracy theory that King Charles III is really a vampire is one of those quirky and bizarre claims that has circulated in some corners of the internet.  Is King Charles really a descendent of Dracula?  Does this explain the families profound anemia and sensitivity to light?  And could Princess Diana's knowledge of the family secret have played a role in her untimely death?

Transcript

Hey, it's Colleen.

Hi, it's Kait.

And it's Megan.

And we're the 3SchemeQueens.

Join us as we discuss popular hoaxes and give you our comedic take on what is fact and what is fiction.

If you have a sense of humor and an open mind, come take this journey with us.

We'll tell you what we think, and we'll try to prove it to you.

Is this thing on?

Hey, guys.

Hey.

What's up?

Another Tuesday.

Another two SchemeQueens.

Yeah, another two SchemeQueens on another Tuesday.

Should I tell them or should you?

You should tell them.

Got some bad news, guys.

Oh, no, what's the bad news?

Colleen was swimming with the dolphins.

Oh, no.

And?

Needless to say, she's recovering right now.

In the hospital, yeah.

So she unexpectedly had to miss one more week.

To be clear, she was not penetrated.

She just was rammed a couple of times.

Right, right.

And so she's recovering and she'll be back next week.

Yeah.

We've got a very we've got like a Boston heavy one next week.

So I'm I'm interested in her perspective.

Yeah, because she's going to have a lot of opinions.

She is.

But in the meantime, it's just the two of us.

Yeah.

And Megan, can I tell you what I've been doing a lot?

Of recently.

What's that?

I've been watching the Vampire Diaries.

And I'm obsessed.

I know you're obsessed, because, guys, I've been on vacation and every time I pull out my phone, it's like 76 new messages.

And it's all Kate on the group chat being like, wait, do we like.

Damon, yet we do like Damon.

I don't know, just it's all like Vampire Diary.

And she tried to say, it's not my fault.

I was having children while this show was out.

The show came out in like 2000.

It was 2009.

And I said, wait, I was in high school, but I actually was in college.

I get confused because, yeah, early 2000s, I was in high school and college, and I just feel like.

And apparently also having young children.

Yeah, apparently.

Which to be clear, she was not, guys.

No, no, that was late 2010s.

Anyway, so you've been deep in vampire land, huh?

I've been deep in vampire land.

I'm on the second season and I'm very much enjoying this.

OK, OK.

But it's pretty on brand for what we're going to be talking about today.

Oh, yeah.

What's up?

Is King Charles a vampire?

Oh, yeah.

OK.

And to be clear, because when you mentioned this, I had to figure out we're talking about our current king right now.

Right.

Charles, son of Queen Elizabeth, who just passed, father of Harry and William.

Yes.

OK.

And he was married to Princess Di.

Yes, because I thought that actually the rumor was about his dad.

But I think I just thought that because, you know, in his final year, he was looking a little old.

Yeah, a little peakish.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, so that's what the Brits would say.

I guess I guess before you tell us our story, though, we should get into our drink check.

All right.

Kate's serving me today.

So what are you serving me here?

Yeah, it's called a vampire mimosa.

Oh, yeah.

And she's cute.

She looks like blood.

She really does.

She handed me the cup and it looks like some a positive, you know?

Right.

Well, it looks like blood that's not oxidized.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's dark burgundy, and it's really good.

Yeah.

And what's in it?

Hold on.

It's dark cherry juice and Prosecco.

What do you think?

It's good.

Yeah, because you know also that you know the health benefits of dark cherry juice, right?

I sure do.

Yeah.

Well, it has a ton of antioxidants in it.

My mom bought this back for me when I first was on, like, night working an off schedule.

Yeah.

And the sleep issues led to some GI issues.

You know, your gut is really on your circadian rhythm.

It is.

And tart cherry juice is good for your circadian rhythm.

Oh, yeah.

And that's why it's in the, what is it?

The sleepy girl cocktail?

Yeah, mocktail.

Mocktail, which you and Colleen have had on this show before.

Oh, yeah.

That's right.

Yeah.

It's good.

It's good.

You're probably the only person I know who would just have, like, some tart cherry juice in the fridge.

Anyway, but this this blood right here?

Yeah, it's good.

It's tasty.

Am I going to shift?

I don't know.

We'll see.

I need vampire blood in me first, and then I need to die.

And then I need to drink blood to to be reincarnated as a right.

Complete the transition.

I got you.

Yeah.

Is that what they do in the vampire diaries?

Okay.

That's what most shows do, right?

I don't know.

I've read some books where they transition.

You can drink somebody's blood, but not turn them, which is true in the vampire diaries, too.

All right.

Well, why don't we get into it?

Why don't you give me the proof proof?

Right, the proof.

Yeah.

So if anyone who doesn't know, King Charles is the new King Charles since Queen Elizabeth died.

So King Charles is 76, but he has only been on the throne for like a couple of years now.

Yeah.

And the thing about King Charles that we know is it's like very like he's pretty scandalous, right?

He was married to Princess Di, but he was like, you know, doing some naughty stuff with Camilla.

Yeah.

But now I guess Camilla is his new bride.

Consort, Queen Consort.

Yeah, boo.

I'll never call her the Queen Consort.

Anyway, let me tell you about why he's a vampire.

Okay.

King Charles.

Let me tell you about him.

And many people don't know this about King Charles, but did you know that him and Princess Diana met in high school at their boarding school?

You know, that sort of sounds familiar because she was like pretty young, I think, when they got together.

Yeah, they were, she was young and she was like the new girl in town.

And I don't know if you know this, but like Princess Di, she like lived with her mom for a while, and then, you know, her mom was like kind of like a kid.

And like her mom was a kid when she had Princess Di, and then she kind of grew up, and then she wanted to go and like, you know, marry this other guy.

So her mom shipped her to go and hang out with her dad in this really like small British town.

And this is where she started like the school with them, okay?

So she's like the brand new kid, and her dad's like, you know, pretty big in town.

So anyway, because you know, Princess Di's dad was like pretty important.

He was like an Earl.

Earl Spencer was his name.

He's the eighth Earl Spencer.

And so anyway, she and she like walked into her science lab, and like the only seat that was available was next to Prince Charles.

And so while she was there, it was like she describes their first meeting as like very like weird, like she thought Prince Charles didn't like her.

I'm interested.

It's surprising that they're in the same class, because I just pictured him being so much older than her.

Right.

Which I guess, yeah, if he's a vampire, he was.

Right.

Yeah.

And since we've known him as King, like there's definitely like he's definitely aged.

So I think that just like British royalty have really good makeup artists.

You know, they want us to like not know about the fact that he's a vampire.

But like there's pictures.

OK, I'm going to add pictures to the Instagram reel and you guys can tell me.

But like he definitely hasn't aged over the years.

But anyway, we'll get back to Princess Di and Prince Charles.

So Princess Di like described meeting Charles.

He was like sitting next to her and he was acting like really weird and like making these faces that made him look like constipated almost.

And then he just like ran out of the class.

Like he couldn't even like be near her or stand her.

And she thought it was just really weird.

And then she went up to one of her friends and she was like, what's up with this Prince Charles guy?

And they were like, and her friend was like, oh, well, you know, he's part of the royal family.

The royal family.

Exactly.

And they're all like gorgeous.

They all keep to themselves.

They all keep to themselves.

Exactly.

And so, you know, and so they should like, she's talking to them while they're in the lunchroom.

And Princess Di just kind of like looks over at them.

And Prince Charles is just like staring at her.

And he's like, got this really interesting shade of color eyes, right?

I'm sorry.

I turned around.

Is this, I think, I think when I heard the story, his brother was with him and his brother had like a dozen eggs and that's what he was eating for lunch.

Right.

Did you hear that?

Yeah, I did hear that.

It's like a weird fact.

It's a really weird, and they were like hard-boiled eggs.

Yeah, but I guess, I guess like when you're royalty, you can afford eggs.

Like the rest of us, you know?

Yeah, us like peasants over here.

So anyway, so she goes home, you know, does it kind of like thinks like, okay, the royal family is just kind of weird.

I guess they just keep to themselves, and maybe he doesn't like me.

So then she goes back to school, and she like goes back to the science class, and this guy like is there, Prince Charles, but now his eyes are like a honey amber color.

And she's like, whoa, your eyes have changed.

And he's like, what?

But he's acting all like normal now, like they're friends.

And so he doesn't, maybe he just had to take a big poop.

We don't know.

So there, they're like friendly, and she's like, okay, maybe this guy isn't as like standoffish as everyone tells me that he is.

And then she's like in the parking lot that day, and like trying to get, about to be picked up by her royal cabbage, her royal carriage.

Yeah.

I'm sorry, she's in a carriage?

Well, you know, I meant like that is like.

Her chauffeur, her chauffeur.

Yeah.

And so she's like walking there, and there's an errant truck just comes out of nowhere and almost hits her.

And then all of a sudden Prince Charles is right next to her.

And there's a huge dent in the truck.

Okay, wait.

So what you're telling me is, even though we all don't like Charles.

Yeah.

If it weren't for him, Diana would have died and we wouldn't have Diana as we knew her until she would, you know, leading up to her passing.

Right.

So he was sort of a hero.

Kind of, a little bit.

She wasn't off by a car then.

Yeah.

Oh, that's dark.

That came later.

That's really dark.

Yeah.

Okay.

So yeah.

So she's all like kind of freaked out, but everybody's like freaking out because of all this that happened.

And they're like, let's take you to the hospital.

So she goes to the hospital.

So there she like meets Prince Philip, who was like also pretty ageless at the time, which is weird, right?

And he's like this, and he is like talking to her, and she's like looking at him and realizes like they have the same color dyes.

And also, which is, you know, fair because that's his dad.

Yeah, you taught us about you taught us about phenotypes, genotypes and phenotypes.

Yeah.

And they're basically like telling her, no, there was no dent on the car.

But she's like, no, I saw the dent.

And they're like, no, no, there was no dent.

The car basically didn't hit you.

So anyway, Princess Di is like, this is weird.

This is a weird thing that's happening.

So anyway, Princess Di, she goes across the river and she like hangs out with her best friend, John.

And her best friend, John, basically, John and her are like hanging out.

And John's like family's like real big into folklore.

And he's like, yeah, you know, everybody in the royal family are vampires.

And she's like, wait, what?

And he's like, yeah, you didn't know?

Like, this is a pretty common fact in Great Britain.

Like, this is how they pretty much continue the monarchy.

Instead of like procreating, they just create more vampires.

Okay, so I guess if we're to believe the theory you're presenting, they're not reptilian then?

No, they're vampires.

So you're kind of debunking the reptilian theory.

I never really believed the reptilian theory, to be clear.

Humanzoid reptilian theory is Colleen's theory.

Yeah, not mine.

I think they're vampires.

That's why they're also beautiful too.

You know?

Right.

So...

Okay, but if they're really vampires, then why is William no longer as attractive as he used to be?

I told you, they have really good...

They have a really good cosmetic...

You just try to premature balding to protect the...

Yeah, protect the secrets of the throne.

Crazier things have happened.

I think Princess Di figured it all out and didn't want to be turned, and that's why they offed her.

Okay.

Okay.

Keep going.

Okay, okay.

So here, so she goes and she's like, that can't be real.

But then she's like on her way back from hanging out with her friend John, and she stumbles across this like store where there's like folklore and stuff.

So she's just like wanders in and like all of these theories about vampires are in this book that she finds there.

And she's like, wait a second.

This does sound like the royal family.

So the next time she sees Prince Charles, the next time she sees Prince Charles, she's like, I figured it out.

And he's like, what do you mean?

She's like, I know what you are.

And is he like, say it?

Yeah.

And she says, how old are you?

And he says, I'm 17 years old.

And she said, she says, how long have you been 17 years old?

And he says, 113 years.

Wow.

Yeah.

I'm sorry, though.

He just shared this multi-generational secret like that.

Yeah, because he was in love with her.

Well, he didn't act like it.

No, but that was the whole theory, is that he smelled her blood and just couldn't wait to drink her.

It was like his own personal brand of heroin?

Yeah, so he had to get away from her, because the whole thing is they don't drink human blood, they drink animal blood, and that's what sustains them.

So they're like good vampires.

Okay.

Right.

Okay.

Yeah.

So then do they get together?

Yeah, they get together.

There's some fighting.

John ends up being a werewolf.

There's werewolves in this story?

Wild, right?

Okay.

Yeah.

And long story short, she has a baby with Charles Prince Charles.

Vampires can have babies?

Well, yeah.

She was she was human at that point.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's a it's actually this child is illegitimate.

It's like a pastor child, you know, and they don't they don't recognize her in the royal family.

So John took the kid because John saw the baby and was like, Oh, my gosh, I have to have this baby.

It was like he imprinted on the baby.

Okay.

Very strange, if you ask me.

Yeah.

After he was like in love with Princess Di.

Very strange.

I wonder what would have happened if Princess Di had married John instead.

I know.

I really am Team John, you know.

So anyway, that those are I don't know if you guys know that, but that is that is like Prince Charles is a vampire.

Okay.

Yeah.

What do you think?

And then, but then what she just decided in her 30s that she didn't really want to be a vampire.

Yeah.

I think she's she was like, you know, I don't know if I want to be undead and live forever.

And like, you know, that's interesting because that's very different from the conspiracy theory we presented in the Princess Diana.

So of course, it was like she knew too much and the prince and the royal family had to cover it up.

OK, so they say that's our theory for why.

Yeah.

But I didn't believe that conspiracy theory.

No.

But do you now now does it all make sense?

It would if it wasn't Twilight, April Fool's Day.

April Fool's.

But in case you're listening and you're like annoyed that you just listened to 15 minutes of Twilight, I do have some facts for you.

And to be clear, I'm not the Twilight girlie on this podcast.

I feel like I have talked about this, but Colleen is the Twilight girlie, and she really wanted to do this, but since she's in the hospital, your girl had to step up.

Yeah, and Kait always tells us she's into the fantasy, the paranormal, the sci-fi, but Twilight is not her jam.

Yeah, but you know what is my jam?

The Vampire Diaries right now.

We got it.

I'm surprised you didn't want to change to like a Vampire Diaries.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, no.

I stuck to the plan, the April Fools' Plan, but there is really a theory about Charles being a vampire.

It's so appropriate that Kait would present that version of events.

Right.

And now I would come in.

That I 100% believe.

And now I will come in with the real fact.

Right.

The proof proof.

The proof proof that Megan actually had.

What if I told you that we have proof proof that King Charles was in fact related to Count Dracula?

Oh, I like this.

I've heard of this.

So who was the inspiration for Brom Stoker's Dracula?

That would be Vlad the Impaler.

The Impaler?

That's what he went by, Vlad the Impaler.

He is most infamous for his brutal and cruel methods of punishing his enemies, earning him the nickname the Impaler due to his preference for impaling his victims on long wooden stakes.

Vlad was born around 1431 and ruled the Romanian Empire between 1448 and his death in 1476.

Man, it's wild to me to think about people that existed in the 1400s.

So he was born in Transylvania around 1431 and he ruled a region of modern day Romania.

Oh, that's why they all are like, they think they come from Transylvania.

They do.

Wait for it.

And they have the, I'm going to suck your blood.

You know, that's like a, oh, that's what Dracula does.

Yeah.

Okay.

So he was born in Transylvania around 1431 and he ruled a region of modern day Romania three times between 1448 and his death, somewhere between 1476 and 1477.

Vlad's father was named Vlad II Dracula.

Oh.

And so the name Dracula means literally the son of Dracula or son of the devil.

Or I also heard son of the dragon.

Oh.

But that's how the name Dracula came to be.

I like that.

So anyway, Vlad was a bit traumatized.

After his dad was assassinated and his brother was tortured and buried alive.

So his reign was marked by his harsh and often violent methods of maintaining order and defending his realm.

Most notably, he was a fan of impalement, which involved placing victims on a sharp stake.

He reportedly used it on thousands of people, including political enemies, criminals and anyone who threatened his power.

Under Vlad's orders, enemies were said to have been burned alive, skinned, roasted and decapitated.

Oh my goodness.

He was real.

He actually boiled a man in water and fed the remains to his family.

No, wait a second.

This sounds like the first serial killer, not the first vampire.

So he has this pretty brutal reputation.

But despite that, he's actually seen by many people as a hero, who fought against the Ottoman expansion into Europe.

But again, we over here have allowed the brutal tactics to overshadow his contributions.

So in 1998, Prince Charles, who is Prince then, learned that through his great-grandmother, he is a blood-related relative of Vlad the Impaler.

He is Vlad's great-grandson, 16 times removed, meaning there is a 16th generation difference between the two.

So Charles is actually quite fond of his lineage.

He often promotes Transylvania as a tourist destination.

In fact, because he's a vampire.

Yeah.

Because of his promotional work, Charles even received the honorary title of, quote, Prince of Transylvania, claiming Transylvania is, quote, in his blood.

On top of that, the Prince of Wales owns several properties in the Romanian region and constantly vacations there.

After his coronation, he purchased a home on the border of Transylvania, and this home is often referred to as Dracula's Castle.

Oh, neat.

In 2015, King Charles launched the Prince of Wales Foundation, Romania, which focuses on preserving heritage, architecture, farms, and helping to develop sustainable businesses in Transylvania.

So that's kind of where this started, is that he's a descendant of the Dracula inspiration.

Right.

So scientists, going back to this guy, Vlad, scientists analyzed letters written by Vlad more than 500 years ago, and were able to determine that he likely suffered from hemolycria.

What does that mean?

Blood.

Hemo means blood.

Yeah.

Lacria means?

It means, quote, he could shed tears mixed with blood.

Whoa.

Oh, that makes sense.

Lacrimal, lacria.

Okay.

So anyway, we can't, we can't, we don't know for sure.

Someone else is going to touch this, but based on the touch DNA, they're like, we think he had this disorder in which he cried blood.

That is so creepy.

Okay.

And then to add to the already spooky connection.

Yeah.

Well, have you heard about the other disorder that a lot of the royal family has?

No.

Porphyria.

Porphyria?

Yes.

It runs rampant through the royal family, and it is a very serious iron deficiency that, shocker, is nicknamed the vampire disease.

Oh, neat.

Individuals who suffer from porphyria have an extreme sensitivity to sunlight to the point where blisters form on their skin during sun exposure.

And may I remind you all that vampires only come out at night for a specific reason.

Unless they're vampire diaries and they have a family heirloom ring.

Right.

Right.

Yeah.

So to be clear, while Prince Charles has discussed his ancestor, King George III's illness and the possibility of porphyria, there is no evidence or medical confirmation that Prince Charles himself has porphyria.

But people claim that that's why King George was mad, was all about the porphyria.

And then finally, the third fact that we have to prove this.

Yeah.

Have you seen Prince Charles in the sun?

No.

Official portrait?

No, I haven't, actually.

Let me see.

What?

No, that's his official portrait?

That's weird.

Yeah.

Describe it for the people.

It's like, well, first of all, he has a monarch butterfly over his shoulder.

Oh, I missed that.

But the...

it's like he's very old in this picture, and it's all...

it's like blood red.

It's just all red.

Right.

But he's like...

it's like in...

he's in his military...

Yeah.

And it looks like he's like emerging from a bath of blood.

Yeah.

It's just very creepy.

Yeah.

It is really creepy.

Very strange.

Yeah.

So I think he really likes this idea that he could be a vampire.

I think he likes to just feed into it.

Yeah.

Maybe give him hope he'll live forever.

Right.

Um, I mean, I feel like Elizabeth did, to be honest.

Uh, yeah, but did she live forever because she did not want him to take the throne?

She wasn't sure he was up to snuff.

That's another conspiracy theory for another time.

So anyway, those are the actual facts behind this conspiracy theory.

Not the fact that he lived his whole life like Twilight.

They did not meet in forks in high school.

They weren't really lab partners.

No, I actually think they were pretty, hold on.

Um, because in fact, yeah, Prince Charles was actually 13 years older than Princess Diana.

So they could not have been lab partners.

Well, if you believe the theory, then he's also 113 years older than her.

Um, well, so where do you fall on this one?

Um, I fall, I fall on the line that he could be a vampire.

Okay, I'm going to say no.

Okay, well, I'm going to say we don't know because we could all be compelled to not remember.

Interesting.

Yeah.

Although I feel like the Cullens didn't compel people.

But the...

The Salvatore brothers do.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Um, which...

In which I just want everyone to know that I'm team Damon, not team Stefan.

But I do like Stefan, just not team Stefan.

Okay.

Team Damon.

Okay.

Yeah.

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Kait, what should the people do?

Yeah, the people, they should, if they think anyone would like this episode, take out your phone, send it to three people, text it to three people right now, that you're like, they love vampires, and they want to hear us talk about vampires.

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And yeah.

All right.

And join us next week when our third is back, and we're going to talk about a real life current conspiracy that's happening right now.

Right.

Exactly.

So we'll see you next week.

See you next week.